One thing I feel about my life here is it comes in waves. Hectic waves. Boring waves. Bar waves. Staying home waves. Running waves. NON-running waves. Last week started great – gym, Hashing, running. Then it just fell apart. I miss the Running Room and I miss having a plan and a schedule. My friend Kate who works at the Wildlife Centre has told me they are in charge of organizing a marathon in Lilongwe in September. Can I do it? I’m not sure yet. Its tight on training considering I’m starting from pretty much scratch. I have to mentally commit. That is a difficult difficult thing to do. In Toronto, I had the Running Room – I miss my running friends and the motivation they gave me. You feel like you are in something together. Running alone is hard – especially long distances. When I was easily pounding out the kilometers at the Running Room in a group, even a measly 5km by myself could still be torturous. I also don’t want to fail at my first marathon attempt as I feel like that would fuel my running negative self-talk to a debilitating level. I’m not completely shutting out the possibility, but I’ve got to commit myself.
Despite the fact I JUST had a Lilongwe break I feel like I desperately need another one. Lilongwe can be extremely suffocating. I find myself and others tend to take on a ‘Oh, screw it’ attitude sometimes here. I am more than guilty. Today is not going the way I planned, ah screw it. In Malawi it is incredible how you can work all day, yet get nothing accomplished. I don’t even know what happened last week. Even my Canadian friends here has his facebook status today as “You know when you’re just like “F it?” Ya …. Looking forward to a distraction free week.” As an expat community, sometimes I think we all need to figure out a better way to deal with our stress. A few of my friends and I have been trying to channel our frustrations into working out/running . . . but like last week, I was inevitably bitten by the “screw it” bug. Kate and I started off this week with a 6:30am run this morning (beautiful temperature!) and have planned for another on Wednesday. Hopefully we will be able to keep positive spirits this week.
The title of my post I felt fitting. Mostly because I have revived my love affair with Sam Roberts (I miss Canadian music!) and I’ve been relating to all of his lyrics these days (“… cause there’s no road that ain’t a hard road to travel on …”). I feel like its been a long hard road to where I am now. I have a long hard road ahead. I’m watching a lot of my friends here battle the same things I have, and the same things I will. But as Sam would say “… stay true to your friends, cause they’ll save you in the end.” We’re all in this together guys.
X
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Malawi and UK ... If you can't play nice, then don't play at all!
You! Get out!
http://www.nyasatimes.com/politics/malawi-issues-official-deportation-order-to-british-diplomat.html
Fine. You get out too!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/mobile/world-africa-13205729
As much as we expats and Malawians all make the obvious jokes on the issue (“Did Fergus fart and get deported?” . . . “But what about the Royal Wedding Garden Party at British Consulate?” - the party did happen by the way but all Malawian government officials invites were withdrawn), this is actually getting pretty serious. Things are already not great in Malawi: no fuel, no forex and apparently we are one bad harvest season away from another famine. So potentially losing our biggest foreign donor over a leaked cable that criticized the President is a big deal. Bingu’s inability to take criticism has now resulted in something that will likely have a major impact on Malawi’s people, and as usual – it will be the poorest of the poor who suffer. Bingu will still have his private jet to run away on when the going gets tough. Before this incident, donors had begun to speak out against Bingu, and talks of pulling aid had already started after Bingu told his supporters that they should “discipline” people who were against his regime. In addition, a protest against the on-going fuel crisis here in Malawi was squashed and organizers arrested before it even began. Will my blog posts be the next to be censored? And as we plod along, unable to protest, unable to speak out, Bingu is lining up his brother to be the next President. And do we really think China can fill the UK’s shoes in donor aid? I’m not overly aware of China’s presence here in Malawi. All I do know is that they are building a 5-star hotel . . . and the majority of the labour being used is Chinese . . . and they are refusing to install any of the electrical fixtures in the hotel (which is very expensive). I’m not convinced that relying on China is the smartest idea.
Ran with Kate and Sinead this past week and chatted Malawi politics. Nothing like fueling your anger during a run to keep you going! Still fighting with motivation issues.
http://www.nyasatimes.com/politics/malawi-issues-official-deportation-order-to-british-diplomat.html
Fine. You get out too!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/mobile/world-africa-13205729
As much as we expats and Malawians all make the obvious jokes on the issue (“Did Fergus fart and get deported?” . . . “But what about the Royal Wedding Garden Party at British Consulate?” - the party did happen by the way but all Malawian government officials invites were withdrawn), this is actually getting pretty serious. Things are already not great in Malawi: no fuel, no forex and apparently we are one bad harvest season away from another famine. So potentially losing our biggest foreign donor over a leaked cable that criticized the President is a big deal. Bingu’s inability to take criticism has now resulted in something that will likely have a major impact on Malawi’s people, and as usual – it will be the poorest of the poor who suffer. Bingu will still have his private jet to run away on when the going gets tough. Before this incident, donors had begun to speak out against Bingu, and talks of pulling aid had already started after Bingu told his supporters that they should “discipline” people who were against his regime. In addition, a protest against the on-going fuel crisis here in Malawi was squashed and organizers arrested before it even began. Will my blog posts be the next to be censored? And as we plod along, unable to protest, unable to speak out, Bingu is lining up his brother to be the next President. And do we really think China can fill the UK’s shoes in donor aid? I’m not overly aware of China’s presence here in Malawi. All I do know is that they are building a 5-star hotel . . . and the majority of the labour being used is Chinese . . . and they are refusing to install any of the electrical fixtures in the hotel (which is very expensive). I’m not convinced that relying on China is the smartest idea.
Ran with Kate and Sinead this past week and chatted Malawi politics. Nothing like fueling your anger during a run to keep you going! Still fighting with motivation issues.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Starting from Scratch Sucks . . .
I rolled out of bed this morning at 8:15am for a run which was quite impressive considering I tossed and turned half the night. My run however was less than impressive (I’m not going to embarrass myself at this point by disclosing my time and distance). Despite at the moment having relatively cool mornings and evenings, by the time I hit the road at 8:30am, it was already hot. That’s the issue with running in Malawi; unless you are running at 6am it’s always hot. Yesterday I had another less than impressive workout at the gym. I think it was the first time I’ve ever praised ESCOM (Malawi’s Electric Company) for cutting the power while I was on the treadmill. Starting from pretty much scratch is not fun; which should be motivation to not let my running fall by the wayside again. Overwhelmed by guilt for leaving my dog Tess for a week while I was in Harare, I took her on the run this morning. This is something I usually immediately regret after I do it. She is either dragging me ahead faster than I want to run, tripping me up with her erratic direction changes, or bringing me to a full stop while she sniffs around in the grass. She will get better eventually right?
I also seem to have injured my back over the last few days so it’s making everything a little more difficult. In an attempt to speed up the healing process, I used my massive bathtub for the first time. I also made use of one of my many essential oils (lavender) that my friend Jenna Smith sent me away with when I left Canada. According to the information she prepared for me it’s supposed to be calming, an anti-inflammatory and promote healing. I’m wondering if I should just stick to swimming till my back heals a little.
The upcoming week will likely be a bit nuts following up my trip to Harare and the long Easter weekend.
I also seem to have injured my back over the last few days so it’s making everything a little more difficult. In an attempt to speed up the healing process, I used my massive bathtub for the first time. I also made use of one of my many essential oils (lavender) that my friend Jenna Smith sent me away with when I left Canada. According to the information she prepared for me it’s supposed to be calming, an anti-inflammatory and promote healing. I’m wondering if I should just stick to swimming till my back heals a little.
The upcoming week will likely be a bit nuts following up my trip to Harare and the long Easter weekend.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Keep Calm and Carry On
While we are on the topic of mantras; this is one I’ve been trying out. God knows, I’ve struggled with it. It’s very difficult to not let things get to me, but I’m trying. With the issues and challenges I have faced over the last few months; I wish I had remembered to run it over in my head more frequently.
In a completely different scenario, I found I had to run this saying over in my head this morning as I was looking for office furniture. I had a pamphlet from my boss for a place called ‘Dyco’ he had visited several years back. When I arrived I found out it was an office, not a showroom. This is pretty much how our conversation went:
Me: Do you sell office furniture?
Man at desk: Yes
Me: Do you have a showroom where I can see the furniture?
Man at desk: Not really. This is one of our desks (points to desk he is sitting at)
Me: Do you have a price list?
Man at desk: What is it that you want?
Me: I need a lot of things. I need to know what you have available. What do you have?
Man at desk: Well, we have executive desks (*points to single photo hanging on the wall*)
Me: You don’t have a price list? Handout? Pamphlet? Catalog?
Man at desk: Not really
Me: *deep breath* Have a good day
These people can’t be serious. Holding down my frustration in situations like this that make absolutely no sense to me is a challenge. How do you EVER sell ANY furniture like that? But ‘Keep Calm and Carry On.’
Tomorrow is my last day in Harare . . . Here are a few things I’ve enjoyed here:
1. Footing it: When I lived in Toronto, I walked everywhere. I’ve spent the majority of my time in Harare walking – and loved it.
2. Being in a big city: Again, Toronto I miss you.
3. Spending time alone
4. Knowing no one and no one knowing me: It’s a nice change from the LLW scene.
5. SPAR: oh the selection . . . they even have a good selection of magazines!
6. Take-away coffee: Nothing beats browsing with coffee
7. Reading the newspaper: Favourite quote from Mugabe’s speech on Independence Day directed towards the former colonial power: “Shut your stupid mouths.” Bingu must have heard the speech and followed suit.
8. Bronte Garden Hotel: Where I have sat to use the internet every day. They have great salads and a beautiful garden – which has provided me with inspiration for my garden in Malawi.
In a completely different scenario, I found I had to run this saying over in my head this morning as I was looking for office furniture. I had a pamphlet from my boss for a place called ‘Dyco’ he had visited several years back. When I arrived I found out it was an office, not a showroom. This is pretty much how our conversation went:
Me: Do you sell office furniture?
Man at desk: Yes
Me: Do you have a showroom where I can see the furniture?
Man at desk: Not really. This is one of our desks (points to desk he is sitting at)
Me: Do you have a price list?
Man at desk: What is it that you want?
Me: I need a lot of things. I need to know what you have available. What do you have?
Man at desk: Well, we have executive desks (*points to single photo hanging on the wall*)
Me: You don’t have a price list? Handout? Pamphlet? Catalog?
Man at desk: Not really
Me: *deep breath* Have a good day
These people can’t be serious. Holding down my frustration in situations like this that make absolutely no sense to me is a challenge. How do you EVER sell ANY furniture like that? But ‘Keep Calm and Carry On.’
Tomorrow is my last day in Harare . . . Here are a few things I’ve enjoyed here:
1. Footing it: When I lived in Toronto, I walked everywhere. I’ve spent the majority of my time in Harare walking – and loved it.
2. Being in a big city: Again, Toronto I miss you.
3. Spending time alone
4. Knowing no one and no one knowing me: It’s a nice change from the LLW scene.
5. SPAR: oh the selection . . . they even have a good selection of magazines!
6. Take-away coffee: Nothing beats browsing with coffee
7. Reading the newspaper: Favourite quote from Mugabe’s speech on Independence Day directed towards the former colonial power: “Shut your stupid mouths.” Bingu must have heard the speech and followed suit.
8. Bronte Garden Hotel: Where I have sat to use the internet every day. They have great salads and a beautiful garden – which has provided me with inspiration for my garden in Malawi.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Newsworthy Today from Malawi . . .
All the good stuff happens when I'm away ....
http://www.nyasatimes.com/national/malawi-expels-british-diplomat-given-48hrs.html
http://www.nyasatimes.com/national/malawi-expels-british-diplomat-given-48hrs.html
Monday, April 18, 2011
"Meals and Miles . . . "
I‘ve wanted to set up a new blog for a while. My first blog I set up when I was headed to Malawi seemed to symbolize my “trip.” I felt like I needed a new blog to symbolize a new beginning, a new life. My last year has been trying to say the least. But it’s time to leave all that behind. Right now I’m in Harare, Zimbabwe. I’ve been sitting here all morning trying to find the inspiration I need to push myself and my life forward. The longer I sat here, the more it seemed to elude me. You can’t force inspiration, I know that. Over the last few months I’ve been trying and failing, trying and failing. But on this trip to Harare all on my own, I was determined to turn a corner.
As I sat here trying to set up my new blog, I messed around with the settings on my old one, and clicked on the “Stats” tab. This compiles the views, by month, week, where they came from etc. etc. As I scrolled down the websites of where views from my blog came, I came across a link to a blog I’d never heard of: “Meals and Miles.” So I clicked on it. I was surprised to find “Meals and Miles” belonged to my friend Carolyn who I lived in Swaziland with. I browsed through her blog which describes her running (and eating) journey to the marathon. As I scrolled through I found a photo of her running shoes. On her left shoe she had written “BELIEVE” and on her right shoe, “ACHIEVE.” As I looked at this photo I found myself getting choked up. Choked up being proud of her. Choked up because of all I had lost in myself over the last year. And a choked up because looking at these shoes I realized I could gain everything back and more.
So, for the challenges, trials and tribulations that lie ahead in the next year, I want to say ‘thank-you’ to Carolyn for the inspiration and the reminder. I can’t wait to get home to Malawi, and write the same thing on my runners.
xoxo
Carolyns Blog: http://mealsandmiles.wordpress.com/
As I sat here trying to set up my new blog, I messed around with the settings on my old one, and clicked on the “Stats” tab. This compiles the views, by month, week, where they came from etc. etc. As I scrolled down the websites of where views from my blog came, I came across a link to a blog I’d never heard of: “Meals and Miles.” So I clicked on it. I was surprised to find “Meals and Miles” belonged to my friend Carolyn who I lived in Swaziland with. I browsed through her blog which describes her running (and eating) journey to the marathon. As I scrolled through I found a photo of her running shoes. On her left shoe she had written “BELIEVE” and on her right shoe, “ACHIEVE.” As I looked at this photo I found myself getting choked up. Choked up being proud of her. Choked up because of all I had lost in myself over the last year. And a choked up because looking at these shoes I realized I could gain everything back and more.
So, for the challenges, trials and tribulations that lie ahead in the next year, I want to say ‘thank-you’ to Carolyn for the inspiration and the reminder. I can’t wait to get home to Malawi, and write the same thing on my runners.
xoxo
Carolyns Blog: http://mealsandmiles.wordpress.com/
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